Sign My Funeral Program, Please

Last week, I came down with a virus. Sore throat, awful cough, runny nose, a temperature, the usual. Getting out of bed was difficult and like any person who is sick, I just wanted to lay in bed while my mom made me chicken noodle soup. However, being a sick college student is hard. Going to class, writing papers and studying for midterms when all you want to do is sleep. And I was no exception. However, my 9 a.m. class last Wednesday morning seemed to be pushing it. Not only did  I need my sleep to get better, but I truly did not want to infect the other students in my class, knowing that they had a paper due the next day as well. So I emailed my teacher apologizing for the class I would be missing and that I would bring her a doctor's note to excuse my absence. She kindly replied to feel better, and to remind me that I had a paper due the next day.

As simple as this sounds, of course it wasn't. Of course, I forgot to ask the doctor for a note. However, she had given me copies of the prescriptions she wrote, so I assumed  this would be good enough. I was wrong.

When I told my teacher that I forgot to get a doctors note but showed her the copies of the prescriptions, she told me this wasn't good enough and I would have to go back and get a signed note. Because we all have time to walk 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back while trying to study for three mid terms.

Although her answer saddened me, I remembered that this was the same class that requires documentation even if you miss class for a funeral. She told us "make sure you get the funeral program signed by the funeral director or have some other form of a documentation". WHAT? I am suppose to have the funeral director sign my program ensuring that I was actually there? Can you say distasteful? Disrespectful? I understand teachers and professors wanting documentation for an absence, but at some point there is a line that has to be drawn, one which I believe our society has crossed.

This summer, one my friends from high school unfortunately passed away. When I emailed my professor that I would not be in class and asked if I could turn my work in via email, she responded coldly that it would be fine, signing her email "cheers". She did not send her condolences or even acknowledge my trauma. She simply stated the fact and moved on. However, if a 20 year old had just emailed YOU that her friend had just past away, would you acknowledge it? 

Last winter, a friend of mine needed to be home to say goodbye to her best friend's mother as she passed away after a battle with cancer. However, my friend debated flying home at all due to the fact that she had an exam the same day. She was concerned that she would be unable to take the exam once she had returned to school. Again, here is a 20 year old dealing with death of a loved one, yet she is concerned that school and absence policies would get in the way of her much needed closure. 

The problem with these situations is not only a trust issue, but a problem with how authority figures in our society use their power. I understand that professors need documentation of an absence to ensure that students are not skipping their class. However, what educators, among others, need to understand is that some things are just sometimes more important than school. The exam can wait, the paper can wait, the homework can wait. In this crazy journey we call life, it is important that we prioritize correctly. Now, if you think you need to study instead of going to the bars with your friends, that's a different story and you probably have made the right decision. However, if you are debating going to a funeral or saying goodbye to a loved one because of school work, then there is a problem with the way our education system and our society makes students prioritize. 

Don't get me wrong, school is important, but so are our friends. So is our family. And so is the mourning process when necessary. In order for mourning to take place though, we should be allowed time and energy to focus our attention where it is most needed at that moment. 

However, as students continue to push themselves past their limits in order to obtain a certain job or internship or grade, are we simply doing ourselves an injustice? Are we the ones not taking enough time to be human, mourn deaths, stay healthy, etc.? It is important that as students were learn to slow down and enjoy (and notice) the small things. And for educators, it is important for them to understand that they aren't just in our lives to teach us material from a textbook. In a college setting, they are some of the only adults we may come in to contact with that day or that week. They are role models for who we may want to be in the future. This means showing emotion and giving their students the benefit of the doubt. Not every student is going to try and trick you with an excuse about being sick or an unfortunate funeral. And not every student can handle a trauma and schoolwork at the same time. 

So will I end up going back to the doctor's office to get a signed note that I was actually diagnosed with something contagious and shouldn't be in class? I haven't yet decided. What I do know though is that while yes I am a student, I am friend, daughter, and sister first. And that is one thing that will never change.